Caught up
* I rarely blog about my career, but I’ll make an exception this time.
From enthusiastic freshmen who are excited to enter the hospital, we are reduced to juniors who are simply struggling to survive. Our bright eyes that scream curiosity are now laden with panda-like blackness, without the cuteness.
We loiter around the campus, with our stethoscopes around our necks and ginormous notes in our hands. We sport heavy backpacks that perhaps contain our lives- laptops, tablets, books, notes, and even food for day-long lectures.
We sit in lectures, but less than 50 percent truly listen. Some have rather nocturnal cycles, while some are cramming medical reports to be passed hours or minutes later. Medical students like us struggle to survive, struggle to make our reports on time, struggle to fit facts in our heads, struggle to pass exams, and struggle to find time to sleep.
We have been seeing patients for the past two years, diagnosing them, talking with them, and thanking them. And yet, we have been so absorbed with the technicalities of our lives where the next exam judges our survival. This tiring process has somehow diluted why we’re here and why are we answering these exams in the first place.
The essence of medicine is not in the books, or topping exams. It’s in the special relationships that we form with people. We have been looking at words for so long that we have failed to take a really good look at our patients’ faces.
My recent and unusual case presentation forced me to stop seeing words and concentrate on a patient. It was only then, for the very first time, that I felt the surreal essence of this profession.
We study not for the sake of studying. We study not to pass, nor to top. We study to heal, not our minds or our insecurities, but the people in front of us.
We are so caught up in the moment of academe.
We must get caught by the moment of medicine.
*I sincerely hope that if med students get to read this, they’ll smile with their panda eyes. Let’s have our moments with our classmates, professors, and patients. Time flies so fast, that even the mundane classroom life will be missed and cherished. May I become an awesome MD like my tumblr idol, Dr. Cranquis! :)
